How do you let go of inherited sentimental objects when there are just too many tools, teacups, kitchen utensils, ornaments, or (add your category)?

This question came from a client whom I will call Dave who had inherited 20 old tools from his father. He had vivid memories of his Dad using each of the tools around the farm or house. Every time that Dave saw the tools, he remembered his Dad with great affection. However, he was moving to a smaller space and had his own more up-to-date tools of which he needed very few. HIs Dad's beloved old tools had become a burden, yet he couldn’t bear to put the tools in a garage sale as he felt like he was ‘selling’ his father.

CORRALLING SENTIMENTAL ITEMS

How do you keep on downsizing and not get stuck with YOUR OWN sentimental items such as photos, letters, greeting cards, and mementos? This question came from a client whom I will call Laurie who has read Downsizing INHERITED Sentimental Objects .

Laurie is rightsizing and organizing her own home, and at the same time is helping her parents downsize to a smaller home.

DOWNSIZING INHERITED SENTIMENTAL OBJECTS

How do you let go of inherited sentimental objects when there are just too many tools, teacups, kitchen utensils, ornaments, or (add your category)?

This question came from a client whom I will call Dave who had inherited 20 old tools from his father. He had vivid memories of his Dad using each of the tools around the farm or house. Every time that Dave saw the tools, he remembered his Dad with great affection. However, he was moving to a smaller space and had his own more up-to-date tools of which he needed very few. HIs Dad's beloved old tools had become a burden, yet he couldn’t bear to put the tools in a garage sale as he felt like he was ‘selling’ his father.

WHAT TO DO WITH OLD AWARDS

"What do I do with old awards, trophies, and plaques?” ask several clients as they downsize their homes.

Physical items received for a sports championship or a prize-winning 4-H heifer or recognition of community or employment service remind us of hard work and accomplishment. Perhaps we also have an award that was presented to a parent or grandparent.

What do we do when we are downsizing and have less space to keep them?

Ask yourself, do I want to display this item and am I inspired when I see it? If the answer is YES, display it where you can appreciate it.

If the response is NO, perhaps it’s time to let it go.

Here are a few options as you consider YES or NO:

GOOD-BYE RED SHOES, GOOD-BYE GUILT

I am rooting around in a closet to find a seasonal jacket, and I cast my eyes on my beloved unworn red shoes!

I love THOSE shoes! I love RED shoes!

I feel strong and positive. I could walk anywhere and face any challenge when I have red shoes on my feet.

I have a hard foot to fit and it took me a very long time to find those red shoes.

I paid a lot for them and expected that they would give me years of service.

I wore them ONCE several years ago. Long enough to mark them up beyond returning.

Long enough to realize that they didn’t fit properly after all.

CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS WHEN DOWNSIZING WITH SENIORS

No matter how much we are able to tap into our compassion (see Mindful Compassion While Seniors Downsize ), there are times when we need to initiate challenging conversations when we are downsizing with our elders.

Their energy is flagging, and so is ours. There's a time limit on this project as their move is happening next week. It feels as though there are too many decisions to make, and too much stuff lined up for the moving truck.

If you have been firm about not taking on your parents’ stuff (see Your Downsizing Cannot Be My Upsizing), this may be the time to give a little.

YOUR DOWNSIZING CANNOT BE MY UPSIZING

I love this pithy line shared by an adult daughter who is helping her mother downsize. After selecting what she would take to her new smaller home, the older woman suggested that her daughter could take much of what was left. Her daughter’s response was “Mom, your downsizing cannot be my upsizing.”

In Mindful Compassion While Seniors Downsize, I shared some reasons why seniors struggle with downsizing. For many of these generous folk, an easy solution would be for their adult children to take everything that the senior no longer needs and incorporate the items into their own homes.

How many of us have been asked to do just that? And can’t or choose not to.

MINDFUL COMPASSION WHILE SENIORS DOWNSIZE

Many adults are helping senior family members downsize because of an imminent move to a smaller home or because their current home feels too full of stuff.

Unless continuous clearing of possessions has been a priority for older generations or they have strong minimalist tendencies, most seniors have a lot of stuff. This may be difficult for younger generations to understand. I commonly hear “Why can’t you get rid of stuff? or “Why did you buy all this stuff?” as younger family members struggle with their feelings of frustration and weariness in supporting their elders.

CORRALLING SENTIMENTAL ITEMS

How do you keep on downsizing and not get stuck with YOUR OWN sentimental items such as photos, letters, greeting cards, and mementos? This question came from a client whom I will call Laurie who has read Downsizing INHERITED Sentimental Objects.

Laurie is rightsizing and organizing her own home, and at the same time is helping her parents downsize to a smaller home.

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